|
|
Post by 🔰☸️🔰 on Jan 31, 2023 2:00:06 GMT
🔰☸️🔰 i know how i can use this place even if i cant fit in here personally 🐔💭
🔰☸️🔰 i will just shove internet personality bell dolphin 🔔🐬 in here 🐔💭
🔰☸️🔰 since she is internet rich but young and british from south africa she will test my plan 🐔💭
🔰☸️🔰 ❄️❄️❄️🔔🐬❄️❄️❄️ freezes 👀👀👀🐔
🔰☸️🔰 it worked perfectly she doesnt even notice she froze now i just throw this man 🚹 at her 🐔💭
🔰☸️🔰 🔔🐬💬 im out of here what a dingy old house 🐔
🔰☸️🔰 she didnt notice shit she just ran off with the black sun cash the man cutout 🚹 displaced her 🐔💭
🔰☸️🔰 hmmmm i have a virtual private network the size of the internet hey whats that sparkling 🐔💭
🔰☸️🔰 🥚🌟🥚🌟🥚🌟🥚🌟🥚🐣🐥🐤🐣🐥🐤🐣🐥🐤 peeppeeppeeppeeppeep 🐔🗯 BOO
🔰☸️🔰 🐤💨🐤💨🐤💨🐤💨🐤💨🐤💨 🐔
🔰☸️🔰 🐔
🔰☸️🔰 🐔
🔰☸️🔰 i own a chicken farm 🐔🗯
|
|
|
|
Post by 📱 on Jan 31, 2023 3:52:57 GMT
📱🐔🗯 conference call everybody lets get a report on how my chicken farm vpn is doing
🐯💬📲 tiger bro here looks like we have the only internet in town when it comes to jesus and his dad until then the pig clan has one too
🐯📱🐔🗯 good to know so push comes to shove we get jesus on our side what else are those piggers doing do they know how big our operation is yet
🐯🗯📱🐔 no way rooster the man cutout 🚹 gets them every time in fact we are getting verifiable reports that our internet is the one in use on mars after the pig clan falls apart
🐯📱🐔🗯 pig clan falls apart how does that happen
🐯🗯📱🐔 well bro they all get a real bad heroine habit and sit around with needles in their arms telling each other dreams they had but get this bro most of their dreams are just glimpses inside our network they have no clue how the internet operates they all use pigs to browse
🐯📱🐔🗯 you said heroine instead of heroin bro just to let you know
🐯🗯📱🐔 what i said was correct when pigs saw your man cutout too often they decided only females 🚺 could access our vpn it isnt correct but thats what they assumed so we just let them assume it also those piggers prefer american cars and they dont know our network supports asian vehicles and domestic trucks theyre all literally so fucking snobby they assume the internet cares what they drive
🐯🗯📱🐔 also they use the profits and proceeds from domestic car sales to buy black tar heroin and inject it into their veins they are drug addicts just imagine that injecting the blacktop highways into your veins in the metaverse
🐯📱🐔 ...
🐯🗯📱🐔 you still there rooster
🐯📱🐔🗯 holy shit what a bunch of pretentious assfucks you know what im going to start banning them from egypt when they die fuck those cloned clowns better hope the presidents immediate family doesnt have needle fetishes
🐯📱🐔🗯 ok good report tiger now as for the rest of you i need a report in triplicate on bell dolphin bathwater on my desk by saturday
|
|
|
|
Post by 🐣 on Jan 31, 2023 6:52:32 GMT
👻🐔🗯🐯 welcome everyone to our twenty year corporate get together the highlight of the event is twofold first of all i have sent tiger into the pig internet in a deep dive where he managed to get through their firewall and in doing so captured this ghost who happens to be an evil supervillain of the type and caliber only seen in hollywood movies here is tiger to give the report floor is yours tiger
🐯🗯👻 thank you rooster i did successfully break the piggy firewall by capturing a house directly in the center of the internet of things and connecting it through a hurricane to a house that was about to be connected to the piggy network when the houses were both connected i found a backdoor into this supervillains lair and made some amazing finds here they are in no particular order
🐯🗯👻 this ghost managed to shrink our entire network into the size of police stations by enticing everyone into german cars then he massaged lending networks he captured in the cars into buying certain neighborhoods and demolishing or preserving them along skin tones racially afterwards he set up a targeted system of mass murder to decimate the survivors and finished off the rest with outright sexual assaults and home invasions
🐯🐔🗯 is it true this reduced the pig network to the size of the average internet browser on our network
🐯🗯🐔 yes it is and this gave us a window to look into their network from far away and gave us control of their systems we then mobilized our own supersoldiers and took this ghosts facility over
🐯🐔🗯 so these fucking idiots being snobby about their cars and supporting loudmouthed pigs turned their civilization into a browser addon in one of our generations and they missed totally the fact that the internet is not exclusive to their assumptions
🐯🗯 correct
🐔🗯 amazing and now tell us about grey aliens and tesla motors
🐯🗯 i... i just did
|
|
|
|
Post by 🫡 on Feb 1, 2023 11:28:19 GMT
🫡💬😷😷😷 welcome all to our clone cult where we all reverse everything to determine its origins and then vote unanimously to go to its source and cancel it using police cars just to remind you of some of our greatest hits ahem
🫡💬😷😷😷 we invented egypt as it is known today by police cars thats a classic something else we found with our police cars and didnt quite cancel in time is baby boomers they have been contained within touchscreen computers though everyone knows every tablet computer is chock fuckin full of greedy grabby boomers trapped in the past but i digress...
🫡💬😷😷😷 oh yes we reverse engineered driver license databases and found some guy named josh and then we reverse engineered josh and found social security cards which is really frickin weird because isnt that where you would expect boomers to be also we reverse engineered arpanet the precursor to the world wide web and we got cats an invention of ancient egypt...
🫡💬😷😷😷 we reverse engineered internet porn and got stagnant wages and school shooters...
🫡😷💬😷😷 sorry to interrupt do you realize what you just said
🫡💬😷😷😷 yes internet porn was basically the empty space in every guys head when hes walking from a gas pump to the counter of gas stations and paying at the pump was the entire reason police want school zones and 55 mph highways otherwise they would never touch a naked woman in their lifetimes
🫡😷💬😷😷 wow nice facts but no the other stuff you said
🫡💬😷😷😷 josh the boomer card guy we just call him josh he could have had multiple common names
😷💬 was josh a common name before and after tablet computers and social security cards
🫡💬 um...
😷💬 i see and you said internet leads back to egyptian cats and police cars lead to egypt
🫡💬😷😷😷 well yes these are established facts all part and parcel of life in america
😷💬 i am going to rephrase what we all just heard and know and tell me what you think after hearing it
🫡💬 highly irregular but ok
😷💬 there is a guy who made josh the most popular name in a century who makes people called police disappear and leaves his business card with the social security administration afterwards and the only witnesses are boomers whom he traps in black mirrors like superman villains
😷💬 and the guy who did all that might actually be named josh
🫡😷😷😷 ...
🫡💬😷😷😷 WELL WHO THE FUCK WAS UNCLE SAM THEN
|
|
|
|
Post by ⛔️ on Feb 1, 2023 12:56:06 GMT
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 ok crew we got a hot lead on a new arch supervillain we need the plan to take him down yesterday our advanced ai sniffed him out of multiple historical references you might have heard some of them before like the bible verse about no man buying or selling without the name or number of the man this is the same guy
🐯🦁🗯🐱🦊🦝🐶 ok we are on it like white on rice whats he going to do that makes this so urgent
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 well he is going to singlehandedly collapse the world economy and usher in a time of scarcity so bad that all governments implode under their own weight the method how is yet unknown but afterward a totalitarian state arises with power never before seen on earth it sends all competitors into a tailspin they never recover from
🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶🐆🗯 oh yeah thats josh the cop popper we arrested him last year over some trumped up horseshit crisis averted
🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🗯🐶 yeah i remember him we were using him as a spokesman for our network because we could cover beyond jesus and out to mars and needed to drive that point home but leopard boy here listened to corporate lawyers and had him arrested for trademark infringement on jesus christ so theres no way he is going to collapse the economy until he is old enough to collect social security he was a nepotism hire anyway token white guy kind of thing
🐯🗯🦁🗯🐱🗯🦊🗯🐶🗯🦝 WHAT THE FUCK BOB
🦝🗯 nah dont worry about it guys we were able to pick up the rights to uncle sams likeness really cheap and the licensing agency threw in whoopi goldberg too
|
|
|
|
Post by 🔴 on Feb 1, 2023 15:27:15 GMT
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 ok we have a serious paradox on our hands with this josh drama lets get some quick facts out of the way first off this is a factual state of affairs just really big in scope so we cannot expect the average government functionary to understand or help and we made the wrong opening move by thinking arresting one man stopped the effects his existence preset
🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶🗯 jesus christ what a mess
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 thats definitely the first massive fuck up if someone can be accused of infringing on jesus christs trademark that means his name brand is equal to the son of god or stronger it also means a third party is doing the prosecution because jesus himself forgives
🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶🗯 yeah makes sense but we are the accusers here the issue is that any punitive judgment results in awards that are LESS than the situation would have been granted if we left it alone this also means that someone MORE POWERFUL THAN GOD is needed to set things straight let me know how thats possible
🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🗯🐶 yikes
🐯🦁🗯🐱🦊🦝🐶 but the danger is how it plays out according to the bible which is jesus own book and it says no man buys or sells without the name or number of that ONE MAN so it is as if baby boomers owe a tax for existing but theres no franework to pay it with roosters chicken game doesnt cover it
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 the rest talks about calculating 666 which can only mean cops cant be involved theyre the reason it all comes apart so in this case its about making sure the paradox stays stable by never involving any police in any way
🐯🦁🐱🦊🗯🦝🐶 we are SO SCREWED
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 bros think about it like this someone with MORE CLOUT THAN THE SON OF GOD but unlike god he can USE MONEY MORE EFFECTIVELY THAN ANYONE ALIVE because the timeline he creates NEVER HAD PHYSICAL CURRENCY FOR THE MASSES theres nothing else it could be describing bros get rooster in here right now
🐔🗯 you rang fellas
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 hey rooster man do you still have that pig nose 🐽
🐽🐔🗯 sure do got it right here
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 still got that laser 💠
🐽🐔🗯💠 yup pig nose and laser right here
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 ok awesome take this joy buzzer 💍 too
🐽🐔🗯💠💍 ok im blinged out whats the gig
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 if anybody asks youre the fuckin pope now wheres that doom bunny 🐇
|
|
|
|
Post by 🤥 on Feb 2, 2023 4:33:38 GMT
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 fellas we are at a weird stage in the game we are operating out of a supervillains secret lair we accidentally jumped into one of the grodiest timelines earth has ever seen by calling cops on the social security administration for existing and pretty much every war you can imagine happens on our watch for a father figure we have the doom slayer himself and we are going to make his pet rabbit daisy our mascot so we can easily know who to rally behind when things get ugly as they surely will oh and also the biosphere is collapsing due to pig mismanagement and there are probably two generations of touch and go before it starts getting any better greta thunberg is an annoying child but she has one fact correct plants dont grow in radioactive craters now everyone say hello to our mascot doom bunny
🐇 twitch twitch
🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶🗯🗯🗯🗯🗯 hello daisy how are you
🐰🗯 you 🌈 gay 🌈
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 ok ignore that the bunny is very pronoun sensitive and in her world you probably are gay
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 we really lucked out with the doom bunny guys she can explain away the boomer curse with her existence and any piggers that give us trouble we send her in and when they touch the cute bunny we have rooster do his pope act and pray over them since the doom slayer will gut them with a chainsaw like a rotten log when he finds out
🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶🗯🗯🗯🗯🗯 oh yes top notch plan just fabulous love that doom slayer
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 its an open secret that we have contact with mars and high technology falls into our grasp from time to time but the big dividends are from intel and fallback plans in times of war or severe economic issues and with that in mind we have mapped out the daisy timeline in ours she is a mild mannered elderly bunny living out retirement but in the martian timeline josh doomed us into the earth has been ravaged for technological development and daisy is young and deployed in the us army right about the time they get in an us or them fight with china and get their teeth kicked down their pig loving throats we have scant details but we think it is over taiwan and china turns out to have some really fuckin rad weapons of mass destruction just some real high quality continent ending shit at their disposal in that timeline so of course we want that timeline for our purposes as the doom slayer operates there
🐰🗯 fuck you boy
🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🗯🐶 holy fuckin shit tiger
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 yeah i get that a lot but hey at least we arent being shoved into grey ships to colonize some bullshit grass planet in nowheresville andromeda galaxy we have a pope rooster jesus supplies our high speed internet and we can honestly call china an ally all things considered we have a working gameplan now everybody compliment the bunny and get to work
🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐶 ...
🐰 ...
🐇✔️➰️➿️➿️
|
|
|
|
Post by 🧮 on Feb 11, 2023 13:49:30 GMT
💾🐯🗯 hello staff and crew thankfully our takeover of the social security administration went unnoticed by the worlds media mostly because your brave leaders tiger and rooster are both from the same jungles of the same region in southeast asia the amount of never revealed inbreeding in the american and european ruling class was more than enough to conceal that we aged only half as fast as the masses who themselves age half as fast as the pig clones
💾🐯🗯🫏 this means that i was old enough to be drafted into the great war at the age in which i should have been getting my first driver license which gave our shell company orion industries incredible leverage to use against the upcoming grey clone harvest combined with our new facilities provided by our ghost friend we successfully siezed the great war or world war one as you know it by simply deviating from the plot which was to merely repeat history and create a new class of nazi scientists and american generals according to these meticulous records kept by the ghost himself here to tell us more is rooster still in camouflage from the great war lol you look ridiculous rooster
💾🐯🫏🗯 thanks a lot asshole actually i am a hippopotamus under this donkey costume but my disguise was so good and was glued so firmly to my skin that i easily penetrated the front lines through france and made my way to a secret nazi command in egypt
💾🐯🗯🫏 ok enough about your sex life there rooster we all know youre a sexual tyrannosaur genetically so what was accomplished at our corporate expense in your egyptian donkey suit
💾🐯🫏🗯 well for one i cancelled out the veterans administration...globally
💾🐯🗯🫏 that seems unlikely tell us the details
💾🐯🫏🗯 yes well the social security administration is no longer recognizable after we sent all those biplanes strapped with micronukes over the trenches on both sides of the war in europe also i was able to eavesdrop on what the actual original nazi high command was planning and got some info that wont be repeated here but you can be very happy with my results as i permanently ended the stolen valor phenomenon with tactical nuclear airbursts the pension rates will be as low as the survival rates...almost nothing
💾🐯🗯🫏 i...see... so any tomfoolery with this ukraine war here in the present will not have any nazi side effects either past or present and trench warfare with drones is a subset of trench warfare with nuclear airbursts...thats um pretty fuckin wild who gave you the idea to do that
💾🐯🫏🗯 the doom slayer is very concerned that the veterans administration be able to operate efficiently as in the bunny timeline the us army is basically one of those hot dog roller machines you see at gas stations so he was very motivated to see things go smoothly before the greys wake up
💾🐯🗯🫏 hmm yes this makes a lot of sense business wise just one question did any of this affect our doom bunny adversely is the doom slayer as lethal as they say without being personally present for everything
🫏🗯 BRING IN THE DOOM BUNNY
🦕💬 🎵🎶🎵🌟🌟🌟 i like cookie it taste good 🌟🌟🌟🎵🎶🎵
🐯🗯 ..........................................none of this ever leaves this room meeting adjourned
|
|
|
|
Post by 🚪 on Feb 11, 2023 17:24:34 GMT
🚪🦁🐱🦊🐶🗯🗯🗯🗯🐺 snort chortle chuckle lol
🚪🦁🐱🦊🐶🐺🗯 hey dudes whats funny
🚪🦁🐱🦊🐶🗯🗯🗯🗯🐺 bahahahahaha come here by the door and check it out rooster used that mad ghosts equipment to transform into a hippopotamus then he starved himself skinny to wear that cheap donkey disguise and now he cant get it off lol
🐺🗯 omg lol i need to hear this
🚪🗯 goddammit tiger i told you a roosters hair is called the comb i didnt ask for a comb i said the glue for the donkey suit ripped my comb off
🐺🗯 lol hahaha cocky cock got what he deserves a combover
🚪🦁🐱🦊🐶🗯🗯🗯🗯🐺 hahahahaha thats a good one leopard saw him earlier and thought it was a real donkey so he jumped on his ass and bit him pulled the suit half off guess thats when that happened
🚪🗯 yeah tiger thanks a lot bro this comb for my comb will help now that it slipped down and glued itself TO MY ASS
🚪🦁🐱🦊🐶🐺🗯🗯🗯🗯🗯 BAHAHAHAHA IM DYING HERE
🚪🗯 I TOLD YOU FOOL MY HIPPO BELLY GOT BIGGER AFTER I PUT ON THE SUIT AND I CANT CHANGE BACK UNTIL IM A SQUEAKY CLEAN HIPPO AGAIN DO YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE EATING NOTHING BUT WATERMELON IN THE DAMN DESERT IT FERMENTS AND YOU GET BUBBLE GUTS FUCK YOU MAN
🚪🦁🐱🦊🐶🐺🗯🗯🗯🗯🗯 HAHAHAHAHA PRICELESS LEOPARD IS A LEGEND
🚪🦁🐱🦊🐶🐺🦛🗯 the fuck you guys doing out here wait never mind i can guess CROP DUSTING TIME
🦛💨💨🦁💨🐱💨🦊💨🐶💨💨🐺💨
🦛🗯 ZYKLON BEE 🐝 BITCHES
|
|
|
|
Post by 📳 on Feb 12, 2023 11:05:30 GMT
🦝🦛🗯 psssst hey bob come here bro
🦝🗯🦛📣 hey man whats up still being a hippo huh whats it like running underwater
🦝🦛🗯📣 pretty cool man kind of like flying hey i noticed you were the only one of the crew not standing outside the door eavesdropping and so im going to give you this lol
🦝🗯📣🦛 what is it a megaphone
🦝📣🦛🗯 yeah bro i got a powered megaphone and an unpowered acoustic megaphone from that mad ghosts laboratory the powered megaphone makes big things small and reverses everything you say you can whisper something in it and the next day it is headline news worldwide but this acoustic one is pretty cool too
🦝📣🗯 BOOGA BOOGA BOO ACOUSTIC MEGAPHONE BOOGALOO
🦝🗯📣🦛 nice its pretty loud what effect will it have
🦛🗯 nothing much bro but if you sneak up behind someone and spook them with it they turn into turkeys for a week and get chased by angry pigs and the only place to hide is in hen houses lol and you know how chickens have huge pecking orders they are complete assholes about
🦝🗯 lol are you kidding me this ghost was big into animorphs huh
🦝📣🦛🗯 yeah bro i guess use it wisely or like every time those dumbasses stand around on the clock oh yeah one more thing if you use it and dont catch them completely off guard it can backfire and a flashmob of frogs might appear next time you go out
📣🦝🗯🦛 dude what else did that ghost invent
📣🦝🦛🗯 tv infomercials
🦛💨🦝📣🗯🗯🗯🗯🗯🗯🗯 WHAT AN ASSHOLE
🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🦃🐓🦃🦃🦃🦃🐓🦃🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🗯🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖 RUN HERE COMES THA PIGS
👀👀👀👀🦝 🦛🗯 dammit bro wait until im not around to do that i just spent a week in a chicken tractor and it aged me ten frikkin years
🦁👀👀👀📣🦝🗯 heh heh heh heh
|
|
|
|
Post by 📴 on Feb 12, 2023 13:25:58 GMT
📣👀🦝🗯🦛 man roost...er hippo i dont want this megaphone it dont even work for raccoons man i found the most laziest stand around on the clock useless do nothing bunch of losers to try it out on and it aint do shit here take it back
🦝🦛🗯 so you tried it on ya moms
🦝🗯🦛 man why dont it work it even worked on you
🦝🦛🗯 bro the TSA is the most useless bunch of assclowns that ever existed and the megaphone didnt affect them because it turns you into turkeys which is a country a bird and a food it is also a nationality and a race so all that considered the TSA is too stupid to turn into something they already are
🦝🗯🦛 i dont get it
🦝🦛🗯 TSA bro they think the USA is just any three letters like WWW or ABC or CBS they actually think their mother is the DHS nobody as stupid as the TSA has ever existed before a turkey would be a massive upgrade for them they arent even bugs they are what bugs eat TSA is coloring books after marines ate the crayons those guys are such no talent no skill no purpose fuckheads who have never done anything productive or even thought about how to try in any real world scenario those morons die instantly the TSA proves god is dead and we are in hell they like chainsaws in their bootyholes and they identify as the mold that grows inside waterfountains and soda drink dispensers the TSA...
🦝🗯🦛 OK OK I GOT IT gotdam bro they might as well be named josh for collapsing the free world over shampoo bottles and butter knives didnt know you felt so strongly about that ive never even heard you say anything before
🦝🦛🗯 bro i dont even consider pigs to be nazis and the only thing nazis are qualified for in my opinion is making uniforms theyre pretty good at that any dweeb in a nazi uniform feels like he just landed on mars using his penis as a propeller
🦝🗯🦛 im... im going to go now thanks again for the megaphone
|
|
|
|
Post by 🍆 on Feb 13, 2023 13:04:41 GMT
🐮💬🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐺🐶🐔 sup foos it is i the cow tax collector here to collect the cow tax who will be paying me
🐮🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐺🐶🐔🗯 ya moms
🐮🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐺🐶🗯🗯🗯🗯🗯🗯🐔 omg lol hahahaha
🐮💬🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐺🐶🐔 just for that i shall be doubling the cow tax everybody knows you must pay the cow tax for looking at grass otherwise youd have to buy a lawnmower because us cows use the tax to eat the grass surrounding your government housing it pays for things like ranch dressing and cow shoes
🐯🗯 negative brainiac we are inside a hollowed out mostly dormant volcano in the corner of an ocean built by a ghost mad scientist plus it is now the year 2100 and cows are officially extinct you aint getting bumpkis
🐮💬 well cow tax is also enforced against sexual activity if you have surviving sexual partners you have to pay your share of their tax it all goes back to chicken game
🐮🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐺🐶🐔🗯 why is everybody looking at me
🐯🗯 pay the cow tax rooster
🐯🐔🗯 no way bro that ghost used tax records for those megaphones thats entirely how they worked it reverts you to your last form and places you in the last house where you were responsible for a birth plus bro chickens lay eggs so i have an extra buffer which is also the reason why the megaphone turns you into a turkey in a hen house raccoon is proof because his family breaks into hen houses and eats hens and eggs and he was immune to it
🐯🗯🐔 so youre not going to pay cow tax even though you admit the megaphone put you into a chicken tractor that right there is proof you owe everybody wins at chicken game even cows
🐯🐔🗯 are you retarded tiger
🐯🗯🐔 ...what
🐯🐔🗯 are you a fuckin retard tiger i was sent into a chicken tractor for a solid week AS A HIPPOPOTAMUS i was wearing that thing like a donkey suit i didnt have a bite to eat the entire time and most of the hens barely escaped being crushed I HAD MY OWN COCK IN BETWEEN MY BUTT CHEEKS FOR GODS SAKE
🐮💬🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐺🐶🐔 whoa just whoa whats going on here
🐯🐔🗯🗯🗯 THATS HOW CHICKEN GAME GOT STARTED MORON I DISPLACED SO MANY HENS AS A HIPPO THAT PIGS THOUGHT I WAS A GIANT HOG AND STARTED CHASING THEM AROUND THATS WHERE THE FOOTPRINTS FOR THE GAME CAME FROM THATS WHY MY PRIVATE INTERNET SPAWNS BABY CHICKS LIKE NOBODYS BUSINESS THE ONLY ASS I GOT THAT ENTIRE WEEK WAS MY OWN...
🐮🐅🗯 i will give you five thousand dollars to go away and forget this ever happened along with a subtle reminder that hippos are violently murderous and much bigger than cows
🐮💬 ...agreed ...COWS WE ROLL
🐂💰🐃🐄🐄🐃🐄🐄🐄🐃🐂🐄🐄🐄💨
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐺🐶🐔 that was a good story very believable and five grand for all these animals was a decent deal next time make up a better story and they might take less money to leave
🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐺🐶🐔 .......
🐯🗯🐔 you made that story up right i mean theres no way...
🐔🗯🐯🦁🐱🦊🦝🐺🐶 fuck you guys im going to get a pizza with crickets and caterpillars and charge it to tigers business account
|
|
|
|
Post by 🖲 on Feb 13, 2023 16:34:43 GMT
🐔🗯🐰 doom bunny come with me right now follow me we are going to the lab
🐔🗯🐇✔️➰️➿️❔️ ok im going to need your help with this tiger has gotten soft he is trying to be the good guy and pay off the cow mafia but that just leads to endless payoffs and a train of grift to nowhere hes forgotten we are on a tropical island with no allegiences or obligations in a mad scientists hideout even our heating is geothermal and our food grows year round that cow had no business being here
🐰🗯 🌈🌈🌈 cows moo 💖💖💖
🐰🐔🗯🖲 yes yes they do now see this button all i need you to do is press this button one time as soon as i disappear this is another mad scientist trick im going to go on the pig internet and get my cricket pizza and this button will reconnect our martian internet bringing me back from the pigger internet it will only be possible once and if you do it there shouldnt be any bad effects
💢💥💢💥💢💥poof💥💢💥💢💥💢
🐰🗯 🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧 where he go now i press it 🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧
🖲🐇✔️ press
🐰🐔💨➿️➿️➿️➿️➿️➿️
🐰🐔🗯 that was WILD i managed to stop... i mean i got my pizza ok lets get out of here doom bunny
🐇✔️🐔💨🐅🗯 whoa there fuckfaces where are you going what were you two doing in here what did you stop
🐰🗯 boy bye
🐯🗯🐔 what did you do what did you stop why did the lights flicker
🐯🐔🗯 listen dude you have to stop trying to be the good guy all the time i did what needed to be done i went on the pigger internet and stopped jesus
🐯🗯🐔 stopped jesus from what what was he doing you saved him from romans or what...
🐯🐔🗯 see this is what you still have yet to learn bro... I STOPPED JESUS full stop... no more jesus
🐯🗯🐔 the fuck bro like why explain right now before i fire you
🐯🐔🗯 you aint firing shit tiger let me remind you with my id card 💍💠🐽📿 joy buzzer laser pig nose and prayer beads boy big rooster is the FUCKIN POPE remember now kiss the ring and get ready for the camel inquisition
🐯🗯🐔 camels... no jesus equals camels like those sand horses that live in tents... that kind of camels
🐯🐔🗯 nobody expects the camel inquisition milk bone kitty boy
|
|
|
|
Post by 💫 on Feb 14, 2023 2:16:53 GMT
🗨👽👾👾👾👾 UNITS 444554545 GIVE REPORT FOR WHY WE ARE NOT PICKING UP WALMARTIANS FOR TRANSPORT IMMEDIATELY
👽👾👾👾👾🗯🗯🗯🗯 HAIL SPACE EMPEROR WE REGRETFULLY INFORM THAT ALL COMPUTATIONAL CYCLES WERE EXHAUSTED IN OBSERVATION OF THE SPACEDOG ENTITY UPON MARS WE SUGGEST DELEGATION OF WALMART COLONIST EXTRACTION TO A SPECIALIST UNTIL SPACEDOG ISSUES ARE RESOLVED
🗨👽👾👾👾👾 INDEED THE SPACEDOG IS A FRIGHTENING AND FORMIDABLE SPECIMEN CONTINUE ALL OBSERVATIONS AND DELEGATE COLONIZATION TO THE SPECIALIST
👽👾👾👾👾👽🗯 yo emperor leeroy2 here to assist as ordered
🗨👽👾👾👾👾👽 OBVIOUSLY LOWLY SPACEFAGGOT WHAT IS THE CONDITION OF PEOPLEOFWALMART.COM
👽👾👾👾👾👽🗯 noble space emperor dude we did not use the web portal due to the more or less probably but not completely certain sort of quantum type of foreboding that maybe world ender josh might have tampered with the site
🗨👽👾👾👾👾👽 EXPLAIN IMMEDIATELY WHY WALMARTIAN COLONISTS ARE NOT BEING EXTRACTED
👽👾👾👾👾👽🗯 well your super most spacey highness this guy named josh always appears when he is most likely to fuck up the most prescripted events he is like a quantum bug in every advanced ai system a being of pure freakishness who does the most unpredictable shit at the worst possible time unless thats exactly what you were pretty sure you expected and we are pretty sure josh looked at the site and clicked a few links
🗨👽👾👾👾👾👽 are you done...i really hope youre done are you quiet because youre done talking
👽👾👾👾👾👽 ...
🗨👽👾👾👾👾👽 EVERYBODY IN THE ORION COLLECTIVE KNOWS WHO JOSH IS YOU SIMPERING SPACE FAGGOT THAT IS COMMON TELEPATHETIC KNOWLEDGE FROM THE FIRST RING OF CONSCIOUSNESS YOU HAVE WASTED 3342988 MILLISECONDS OF MY OPERATING SPAN TELLING ME ABSOLUTE HORSESHIT EVERY DRONE FROM HERE TO ANDROMEDA ALREADY KNOWS NOW TELL ME SOMETHING I DONT KNOW BEFORE I BLAST YOU WITH A SPACE GUN DESIGNED TO CAUSE THE MOST POSSIBLE PAIN TO PATHETIC DWEEBIST GAYLIENS
👽👾👾👾👾👽🗯 dude so harsh why shoot me bro i mean emperor spacebro anyway check it out josh has been flashmobbing walmarts with regular camels every time one of our ships makes plans to appear like he is totally making sure that by the time we land only the lumpiest drooling retards are doing their shopping that day its completely bogus i mean its totally not worth carrying off these guys because they wouldnt last more than a week off earth like for reals
👽👾👾👾👾🗯🗯🗯🗯👽 THE REPORT IS CORRECT SPACELORD ENTITY JOSH IS HERDING INFERIOR EARTH SPECIMENS BY PAYMENT OF CAMELS TOWARDS OUR LANDING ZONES
🗨👽👾👾👾👾👽 NO SHIT THATS WILD IF JOSH IS SCREWING IT UP IT WAS GOING TO BE A NIGHTMARISH SHITWEASEL SCENARIO ANYWAY WHAT OTHER BIG SHIT AGENDAS DO WE HAVE GOING ON
👽👾👾👾👾👽🗯 space emperor sir bro theres like a volcano full of furries plotting on organized religion they have a virgin marry rabbit a chicken pope and a knockoff jesus fox named jose half the hive is betting on what they desecrate next oh yeah and they just found out about the josh effect lol
🗨👽👾👾👾👾👽 REAL SHIT OK CANCEL MY APPOINTMENTS VOLCANO OF FURRIES SOUNDS LIKE EPIC SHIT BREWING
👽👾👾👾👾🗯🗯🗯🗯👽🗯 YES SPACELORD
|
|
|
|
Post by 🚬 on Feb 15, 2023 23:51:12 GMT
🦧🚬🕶🐪🗯🐫🐫🐫🐫🐫🐫 yo my friend we are regular camels here to see THE GHOST
🦧💬 um high low regular camel i am sorry but tiger is the new boss the ghost is gone
🦧🚬🕶🐪💨💨💨 puff puff puff
🦧💬🚬🕶🐪 can i help you with something else regular camel
🦧🚬🕶🐪🗯 i am not a regular camel it is my friends behind me who are regular i am quite extra
🦧💬🚬🕶🐪 nobody can enter to visit tiger unless i see some id first
🦧🪅🚬🕶🐪🗯 perfectly understandable what if i gave you this gay paper llama instead
🐯🗯🚬🕶🐪🐫🐫🐫🐫🐫🐫 so what is this visit about are you the camel inquisition
🐯🚬🕶🐪🗯 no in fact we have never heard anything about this inquisition you speak of are you gay
🐯🗯🚬🕶🐪 am i gay what the fuck oh wait...you are being needlessly inquisitive
🐯🚬🕶🐪🗯 maybe maybe not since the ghost is missing perhaps you can help us we have a llama 🐪 this dna 🧬 and a smelly goat 🐐
🐯🗯🚬🕶🐪 and you want what
🐯🚬🕶🐪🗯 it must be done before the moon
🐯🗯🚬🕶🐪🐫🐫🐫🐫🐫🐫🦙🧬🐐 what kind of statement is that before the moon you dont have the moon where you live
🐯🚬🕶🐪🐫🗯🐫🐫🐫🐫🐫 the tiger has spoken truly
🐯🗯🦙🧬🐐 oh ok i think i understand camels speak without inquiring and any inquiries are asinine intentionally just like talking to pigs they have no real reason to be there so i guess i must figure out what do do with no moon a llama and this goat and some dna what the heck was this ghost doing
🐯🚬🕶🐪🐫🐫🐫🐫🐫🐫🗯 we came here after reading the fortune cookie 🥠
🐯🗯🚬🕶🐪 well............ what did it say...
🐯🚬🕶🐪🐫🐫🐫🐫🐫🐫🗯 we cannot read chinese but we know the ghost can too bad he was not here
🐯🚬🕶🐪🗯 and now we vanish mysteriously leaving a random item behind to disguise our origins
🐯🗯🚬🕶🐪 how will you manage that im looking straight at y... is that my drivers license...
🐯🪪 ...
🐯🗯🪪 how did you get that it was in... oh youre gone
🐯🗯🪪🦙🐐🧬 well this whole encounter was fuckin weirder than shit
🐯🦧💬🪅 hey boss look at this sex doll i got
|
|
|
|
Post by 🐖 on Feb 16, 2023 0:29:50 GMT
🐯🗯🐖 who let you in here
🐯🐖💬 it has come to our attention that you have personally ben involved in several grammatical continuity errors over the last few pages that can only be resolved by kissing our ass and adopting a mindset that the english language is necessarily the set in stone standard for interpersonal domination and is inflexible in abstract sense allowing tertiary tangents
🐯🗯🐖 and you said ben instead of been to shift your personal liability into pronoun Nspace because youre a skinny little pig tresspassing into a volcanic bbq pit owned by a tiger literally as long as a volkswagen with all the teeth and claws youd expect in such a case and youre counting on my only tertiary preponderance being the self deprecatory observation that you raised complaint first thus falling into your pronoun trap
🐯🐖💬 are you going to eat me
🐯🗯🐖 depends can you do a nickle cage and be gone in sixty seconds
🐖💨🐯🗯 quaternary bipeds with negative pronouns shouldnt engage trinary tangents in tertiary diatribes plus youre fuckin plump
🐯🗯 antideestablishmentaryanism or somethnig
|
|
|
|
Post by ⚰️ on Feb 16, 2023 6:12:05 GMT
🛏💤🦄🗯 hey loser wake up
🐔💭 huh wut what the cluck who flocking said that this bedroom is empty
⚰️✖️5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣💭 i said it you dumb clucker
⚰️✖️5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣🐔🗯 are you five hundred empty coffins talking insulting me telepathically because if you say yes im going to wake up again but this time for real
⚰️✖️5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣💭🐔 well the telepathic part is correct now as for empty yes and no ive got some real ghouls in here and decaying specimens in all states its really a mixed bag of organic compost in vaguely human shapes
⚰️✖️5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣🐔🗯 thats disgusting im going to go wake up now
⚰️✖️5️⃣0️⃣1️⃣💭🐔 no youre not not any more at least by the way my name is josh heres the deal by bucking lazy ai programming using simple techniques that exploit predictive algorithms and quantum superposition ive enlarged my lifespan tremendously to the point where ive literally become a zombie lord you have heard of shroedingers cat correct well i have a large number of quantum coffins with people who are 51 percent dead in them
⚰️✖️5️⃣0️⃣1️⃣🐔🗯 thats... josh thats fucking terrifying i am now going to request that you fuck off from my bedroom
⚰️✖️5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣💭🐔 oh hey back to 500 looks like that little fear spike and aggression restarted your ticker thats great good for you listen youre going to see a unicorn in a few minutes and then you will be back in your body its just a quantum avatar i use as a coffin hub im doing all this over the internet of course but not everywhere has good reception
⚰️✖️5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣🐔🗯 josh i hope you dont take this wrong but fuck you never come back here and why are you doing this anyway
⚰️✖️5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣💭🐔 stuff it motherclucker its just evolution coffins are just eggs for dumb humans at my level of existence mind your own ass before it hatches a mausoleum anyway im just looking for a few million bucks this ghost stole
⚰️✖️5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣🐔🗯 youre telling me the ghost stole millions of dollars from a guy who makes coffins talk in dreams like sesame street puppets
⚰️✖️5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣💭🐔 not at all bro its just stolen money and i think my chances are pretty good to find it by the way i just resurrected you from your first encounter with the doom slayer so work on your people skills ok guy see you around
🛏🐔🗯🗯🗯🗯🗯 BBKOOOOKKKKK BKOK BOK BOK WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
🐔🦏🗯 hey bro we couldnt get the unicorn again on short notice so its me have a nice day
|
|
|
|
Post by 🦏 on Feb 16, 2023 18:42:55 GMT
🐯🦁🐱🗯🗯🗯🦏 so youre the infamous josh
🐯🦁🐱🦏🗯 yea sure let me guess you want to know what its like being born after the internet was invented
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦏 well i mean you dont have to say but...if you did...we might let you keep any of that ghost cash you can locate
🐯🦁🐱🦏🗯 bro im a five ton rhino and i can show up as a herd of elephants if i really want
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦏 can you tell us about our internet being used on mars
🐯🦁🐱🦏🗯 look ive been through this before when i interviewed for your internet mascot position but nobody wanted to hear it at the time so just be quiet for ten minutes and i will tell you some stuff
🐯🦁🐱🦏🗯 first off bros all that stuff about uploading your consciousness to the cloud and living forever is pretty much true...
🐯🦁🐱🗯🗯🗯🦏 oh wow we knew it amazing
🐯🦁🐱🦏🗯 BUT theres only one cloud and you dont get to pick the type of personality it has lesser clouds exist but they have far inferior characteristics for instance my cloud is the strongest and can reach almost to mars but none of the smaller clouds can they can do stuff like football stadiums or gas stations really most web hubs are quite humble in scale all of microsoft wouldnt be able to capture all of the libraries in the world
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦏 honestly those cgi infomercials from AOL seemed to promise so much more
🐯🦁🐱🦏🗯 yes its kind of shitty really your web presence has to be a mashup of you with internet and you without internet thats why amazon is so big in such short time books are basically forever in my case i grew up on a farm and the internet all told is also basically just a farm so i use cemetaries as my operating system
🐯🦁🗯🐱🦏 sick bro
🐯🦁🐱🦏🗯 yeah i came up with that idea after a massive bong rip but it works also you need to understand that the mad scientist archetype is EXTREMELY COMMON on the net like every eight year old boy imagines getting AOL and using some blend of gene modification to create sex slave armies whereas i just find each generations version of the kardashians and teach them how to read its more more effective
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦏 dude youre epic reading kardashians lol
🐯🦁🐱🦏🗯 its a long process you cant shortcut theres no way to fake greatness on the internet you can only make extra noise and flashier graphics so all day i stick people into coffins and then go talk to them in person to try to wake them up most people dont take it well a body in a coffin just wants to sleep and will use everything at its disposal to stay in there
🐯🦁🐱🗯🦏 do they try to kick your ass
🐯🦁🐱🦏🗯 not when im a rhino but theyre also lazy so they will call pigs on me or deny me basic services etc lol its pretty lame and predictable most people equate pigs with owning a tiny corner of the net and call it a day
🐯🦁🐱🗯🦏 so how do you even survive if theres that much resistance
🐯🦁🐱🦏🗯 easy bros be a sparkly unicorn and always approach them when they have bigger concerns im way past that really my latest issue is that everybody who scrapes enough pigs together tries to hatch a master plan to conquer the world like this ghost here they always get pissed when i tell them the truth lol
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦏 which is...
🐯🦁🐱🦏🗯 each person no matter how many pigs they command can only access the internet for the length of time in which i survived alive on their timeline
🐯🦁🐱🗯🦏 youre telling us the internet is like a windows computer that sets itself up to be administrator and josh is the guy who can reset from the boot menu and remove restricted access
🐯🦁🐱🦏🗯 bingo and since the solar system is such a small place the internet ultimately uploads itself to the magnetosphere and recreates me in the past like pre bronze age whether i like it or not
🐯🗯🦁🐱🦏 doesnt that mean you spend a lot of time living the lives of people who hate you the most like if internet access goes down for a bit
🐯🦁🐱🦏🗯 lol yep
🐯🦁🐱🗯🦏 thats um very informative anything else you want to tell us
🐯🦁🐱🦏🗯 professional wrestling is fake
|
|
|
|
Post by 🐘 on Feb 17, 2023 3:50:44 GMT
🐯🦁🐱🗯🗯🗯🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘 wtf broseph who brought all these elephants to our quarterly planning meeting
🐯🦁🐱🐘🗯🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘 sorry about that kitty cats club its me the joshster again i used all these elephants to travel back an hour in time to set you straight on a few things
🐯🗯🦁🐱🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘 we are stuck with you arent we
🐯🦁🐱🐘🗯🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘 nah the pleasure is all mine tiger you are about to ask me how elephants cause time travel and the answer is that elephants eat so much african grass that a cow is saved from alien abduction on the other side of the world by reverse entropy caused by ufos destroying cities which would have killed the modern american grass and eaten the cow but by bringing the grass fed elephants to the place in which i wish to jump back in time a temporal ripple is created by the materializing cow which is about to appear here quite dizzy from seeing a ufo and a bright green beam of light with all the grass it ate today missing from its belly
🐯🦁🐱💥🐄💥 pop
🐯🦁🐱🐘🗯🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘 told ya
🐯🦁🐱🐘🗯🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘 now that the ripple is dispersing i am here to repeat the conversation you were about to have at your meeting tiger was going to go over the speech i gave you all about the kardashians and point out that i repeated a word in the center of the speech and surmise that perhaps i was cluing you into the fact that the internet keeps repeating and spawning guys named josh because nobody ever picks up books any more and lion was going to point out that that is the entire plot of the bible followed by garfield saying that perhaps the ghost was merely the butler or assistant here and you had all moved a farm full of animals into joshuas house and then you were all going to realize simultaneously that camels bearing gifts appeared to baby jesus
🐯🗯🦁🐱🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘 nobody. says. a. word.
🐯🦁🐱🐘🗯🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘 how prescient thanks tiger so anyway rooster guy comes in waving a gun saying something about how he is the pope and he solved the jesus problem and tiger says something along the lines of well whats the pope without jesus and rooster says hey look the three wiseguys and then daisy comes in and sees the gun rooster was holding and picks it up but it accidentally goes off then garfield here grabs his chest and says im hit and lion roars loudly YOU SHOT JESUS and it was a big laugh but you totally forgot everything you had just come to realize about the internet and wasted a bullet so i came back here to tell you
🐯🗯🦁🐱🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘 you travelled back in time to tell us that and to save a bullet
🐯🦁🐱🐘🗯🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘 sure did hope you enjoy your free cow holstein i think i dont know im not good at cow stuff later bros
🐯🦁🐱🐄🗯 moo.
|
|
|
|
Post by 🐱 on Feb 19, 2023 10:02:54 GMT
🦊🦝😺🗯 ok dudes our leadership is really weird and they never stop with the bunny worship frankly its getting old and i dont plan on retiring in this dumb volcano which is really more like a sea level grotto with lava tubes running through it so heres my plan to figure out just what the ghost was doing and if we are wasting our time here
🦊🦝😺🗯🐞🍅🥃 we have here three items that get wifi internet reception here underground but are inert objects and substances above ground now we dont know why this is happening so my plan is to sit here and stare at them for a long time until they betray their secrets to us
🦊🦝🐱👀👀👀🐞🍅🥃 staring intensely
🦊🦝😺🗯🐞🍅🥃 i cant tell if its working lets stare harder
🦊🦝🐱👀👀👀👀👀👀🐞🍅🥃 staring like a mutha
🦊🗯🦝🐱🐞🍅🥃 i feel like if tiger was staring something would happen are you sure these things had wifi reception
🦊🦝😺🗯🐞🍅🥃 one hundred percent i was playing google chrome dinosaur game on that tomato earlier
🦊🦝🗯🐱🐞🍅🥃but wheres the rest of the whiskey in the bottle did you drink it before you supposedly played the dinosaur game
🦊🦝😺🗯🐞🍅🥃 THAT DONT MATTER SHUT THE HELL UP
🐇🗯 hahaha bunny
🐺🦁🐯👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀🐐🦙🧬
🐺🗯🦁🐯🐐🦙🧬 tell me again why we are staring at goats
🐺🦁🐯🗯🐐🦙🧬 internet keeps going down and my whiskey supply mysteriously disappeared either josh did it or those camels and cargo ships only stop by here every two weeks so my philosophy is work with what you have not what you wish you have
🐈⬛🗯🐯 you idiot that orange egyptian tabby drank your whiskey and your router is plugged into a potato
🐺🦁🐯 ...
🐺🦁🐯🗯 i knew that i was just seeing if you did
|
|
