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Post by Caylus Ark on Sept 1, 2016 23:31:43 GMT
I have been having the visions again - the one where I see myself, but not myself, in a place that isn't reality. It is like occupying dual screens simultaneously, one is 'occuring', here, in the now. The other, is a more passive experience, taking place, talking at you, through you. In this place many bygone realities are foreseen and explained. None of it is real, it is the domain of the imagination. But sometimes here, the visionary undertakes the current of the divine, often without even consciously realizing or understanding so.
I know that I am not the sole traveler there; many of you have caught glimpses too of this netherspace where dreams are born outside the confines of our fourth-dimensional reality. Some are driven completely insane, by drug induced trips to this land, or just an unfortunate lack of preparation and training to reside among the shamanic trances of erstwhile schizophrenia. Psychosis is always riding that fine line where creative genius is only distinguishable by a manner of translation. Those who can occupy both realities simultaneously are of the hybrid nature, part lizard and part man, or part man and part soft nebulous absentia, the void where 'vision' lives.
My higher self is-self-revealed, as I know yours to be, my friends, and as I know you know your own, to be, on some private level, a glimmer of the soul only recognizable to its bearer, but incontrovertible once known. Gold is a metaphor that refers to the transmutation of what is possible, and it is cryptographic, a unique key for every spirit, one never works for another, one never can be seen by unworthy eyes.
No man knows the depths of what his potential is, because potential has infinite depths, and they can be plumbed forever. Somewhere out there, there is a version of you that has conquered the greatest challenge known to mankind, that version of you has been hardened to diamond outside of time and it smiles down upon you like an angel, guiding you ever closer to the throne of truth that your unconscious whispers seek.
Shine forth, and inherit yourselves. It is your birthright to do so. And your phantom will find the shadow of your greatness, wherever it has lost itself. Train your gaze through the mirror, so that the reflection you see fades into your own eyes. Until there is no longer a reflection to see, because there is no longer a Seer. And when your eyes meets another, chisel past all but the gold buried in them, and let that gold shine through.
For within every body is light, and we are no body.
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Post by ben on Sept 2, 2016 6:08:53 GMT
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Post by Caylus Ark on Sept 2, 2016 9:58:20 GMT
heres other stuff from a glp thread, ramble alert www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message3276295/pg2#58583134Yeah that is the thing though, sometimes I think that I am treading into some dangerous waters with this stuff. Not that that has ever stopped me before, but I am not as resilient as I used to be. I don't know if that idea is totally in my head, but I sense I am not like others in a few ways. There is something weird about me. Something that feels so estranged. It always feels off. And I can't focus the way I used to. I have a massive anxiety problem. Is that weird? Sad? Not sure. I know I still have my unique gifts and such. I'm good most of the time. I feel like somebody up there is looking out for me. But sometimes I'm overcome with this weird pain and total befuddlement. I feel like I want to burst open into thousands of shards in every direction. It's so hard to describe. Utterly lost. And yet ...
It's like, now, when I feel things, my feelings are divorced from reason, and they elicit such a strong and terrifying reaction out of me that I seperate myself from them. And mostly I don't feel anything, really. That's my connection to dissociation, an inability to cope with any emotionality, desensitization, accompanied by odd periodic panic when some feeling I don't understand bubbles up to the surface.
I'm fine, on the surface. I mean I function, okay. I have friends, a social life, a job. I'm muddling through a class, though part of me feels like my mind is not ever going to be the same again. People love me. And I believe I have others I care for deeply. So what is so deeply unsettling and wrong? There is something inside me that never quite went right. Sometimes, the wrong scent or song or an odd here or there this or that out of nowhere just brings up this weird feeling of fixation and confusion and panic and I have to force myself to erect all these barriers to prevent myself from being so deeply affected by those things. So as the months have gone by I have become more and more divorced from sensitization. I don't think I can let it go and still be me. I don't think I'm still the same me I was before. It's like the pieces of me are held together by glue and sometimes it fucking hurts everywhere, like physically fucking throbbing migraines and I don't know why and nothing makes it go away and I push away the people who care because I don't know what else to do, just instinctually want to to protect them from me, want to push it all out of my head and my heart.
Anyway, sorry to get so off track. Of course there is other shit in the world that matters, much more then the dark side of psychology. When we gaze into the abyss I think it's true it gazes back. You can only go so long fighting monsters without becoming something else. People who spend too much time here, it's not like it's the site itself that does something to them. It's more systemic, like those capable of comprehending it already have that unique feature that makes them able to uncover deeper mysteries while also making them vulnerable to the backlash of knowing too much.
I don't think it's true there is no price for power, aka knowledge. There is a price, and it dangles always above the heads of those who seek to learn the truth. The truth corrodes innocence, it makes us more hardy but it also makes us harder. Callous. You know?
I learned a bit too much. There is no undoing that. Anyway, mind control is real. It doesn't go away when we stop talking about it but nobody wants too. I don't blame them.
It's been one of those days where I have been really "off" in terms of how I feel with no basis or reason. It's just odd. I try to tell myself it's because I didn't eat enough or I had too much caffeine but frankly I don't think that's true. I just sense it. I mean a massive throbbing migraine that's not something that will go away with ibuprofen or food or water. It is driving me nuts and its part of the reason I'm here tonight on glp, like somebody was calling. Hi.
I am fine. I am A OK. I don't know what I am doing on this site. I just wish there were good answers for all these questions. I wish there was an oracle we humans could consult that could tell us of the mysteries beyond our capability to percieve. And, occasionally, I wish I could erase my memory of what I know and have seen, that if I have to live a life between worlds, it could at least be one not broken by contact with the extraordinary. The mundane is beautiful and glorious in its way but I don't belong here. It's a strange feeling I have always had ever since I was a little girl. I am not quite right am I? And there is no correct answer anyway.
No correct definition of a life well lived. But once you've seen a bit of naked potentiality it can't be unseen. You can't pretend you don't know....you can block it out for awhile, but it remains. It is always glimmering somewhere in the background.
I am rambling yes, because it does not matter what I say. Perhaps somebody relates, cares, or finds it interesting, but ultimately it just doesn't matter. This site is huge to the people that come here but it's honestly a tiny part of the internet few will ever see. It's the same as the communities around us in reality. Each one of us are such a small part of such a hugely greater whole. And yet our tiny minuscule lives have unscaled disproportionate infinite relevance. So what does it matter where I spill my guts on an anonymous internet platform? Will any of you ever see me? And if you do will you hold it against me that you strangers know more about my deepest thoughts then my most dear real life friends?
We don't care about others, generally. Too obsessed with our own trips. And thats how it goes. Why the few who, find immense fascination with the minds of others, seem to attract so much confidence from others desperate for an ear. I say, why not talk at a wall? Just ramble in the crowd of text that like as not will be banished to obscurity before the day is done. Let it be, let it wash away like the sea. Let the water scourge it from the sheer where it has broken into the earth. Let it all unravel in the muddy slough of plate tectonics, the meme of ignorant memory which remembers nothing. The irony of our existence. It's adorable and funny, terrible and brilliant and sad in a glorious kind of confusion.
Cool. So, mind control ... It's literally the paradigm of society and culture, embedded into our dna. And it works because everybody fucking empowers it, by acknowledging the governance of imaginary powers. Status, wealth. All the bullshit we strive for. The transitory illusory bullshit that controls us. Because we are so empty, so superficial and predictable, each scrambling to be better then the other, like a bucket of crabs pulling each other down into the dregs of the bucket so that nobody can escape the pit of irrelevant trifling complexes of alpha and beta when there is nothing but truth or love, and the distraction of chemical hive mind euphoria.
Chemical hive mind fucking euphoria.
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Post by CEP34 on Sept 2, 2016 21:12:57 GMT
Very interesting post OP I quite enjoyed the read Please shine on
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Post by cornered janitor on Sept 3, 2016 1:36:28 GMT
omg, i found a way to communicate outside of that crazy place.
nobody hasn't been the same for me since gmg closed down.
i will register soon, like this weekend, i'm headed to the underside to take care of my migraines with some nat. medicine.
take care friends.
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Post by ben on Sept 3, 2016 1:44:11 GMT
Hey CJ, and welcome. <3
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Post by cornered janitor on Sept 3, 2016 1:53:19 GMT
thanks ben. read a couple of other posts here and now going to medicate. this place has a very mellow and friendly vibe, i like it. <3 |
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Post by Huggle Bear on Sept 3, 2016 3:54:53 GMT
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Post by Caylus Ark on Sept 3, 2016 5:21:27 GMT
omg, i found a way to communicate outside of that crazy place. nobody hasn't been the same for me since gmg closed down. i will register soon, like this weekend, i'm headed to the underside to take care of my migraines with some nat. medicine. take care friends. Hi Hi! And welcome! I like to see this forum as a little grotto, a place to speak our thoughts and sit with feelings in still waters rather then crazy winds and blazing fires. We are happy to have you, whether you want to post or lurk  |
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Post by Caylus Ark on Sept 3, 2016 8:12:14 GMT
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Post by cornered janitor on Sept 4, 2016 7:44:49 GMT
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