Okay so I know I should probably do this on the other general board or whatever (but it will have some mind control stuff below), but I don't trust the moderators. I mean I don't know who Ben is but if the other guy's the same Zimmer as on GLP, I know that ass clown used to go around and try to get everybody to believe he was the Nobody, so it's no surprise to me that he shows up here. I know you have a problem with discernment of who's real and who's not, but I think it's because you don't have the ability like me (hey gotta have something better than you, cause it ain't brains!) to tap into others' morphogenetic field. Of course, not that I always get it right myself.
Gotta apologize first since I've been up all night, unable to sleep at all. So I'll be a little more incoherent than usual. But I've been thinking since your showing me last night you put up this board, that this is so fucking awesome! It's actually what I've been wanting for the longest time, to have a place to really speak your mind that you can't do on GLP. I think it was originally implanted in my mind to find a separate forum anyway in the time traveler 2020 thread, which I've come to realize was penned by my higher self, as crazy as that sounds. But anyway I'm going to be blunt here if you don't mind, and just say whatever I'm thinking, and I hope you know it's taken me a long time, years since even realizing I was the Nobody, to stop hiding myself. I think I was actually programmed to do so, hide that is, when the PTB got a hold of me at one point. I remember them at least planting a trigger word "rainbow salad" in my psyche for example to cause me to off myself I believe when I heard it, as a sort of last resort. They had a woman a few years ago mention the word when I was working in a coffee shop, but of course it didn't work. But anyway. Now that I've actually tried to make it known, no one has accepted me, which is fine for reasons I'll get into in a bit. Well all except for one, and that was Eternity or Moriah McQueen her real name, who was the first of the fakers as far as the 'she' goes. But at least she was able to piece together that I was the one, but of course she won't accept that she was part of the opposition side of things, even tho she knows how much hate she has in her soul, and just a complete she-bitch with nothing to offer anyone with anything. Ugh I really hate even thinking about her or how I was fooled. But I also have to give her credit that she was actually the catalyst to draw me out of my shell. So she was useful at least. Cold but true.
Another thing I wanted to bring up before getting into what I really wanted, about our shared dream experiences. I've been watching all the music videos from my childhood because my 'guide' i'll call him has led me to do. Was doing that all day yesterday. So emotionally draining, but so awesome to realize that all this time I thought I was fantasizing about them, but they were the ones fantasizing about me lol Anyway, one of the videos I watched was Bananarama's Venus. And I started out enraptured by the main singer with the quirky mouth, and then the next one to the right of her--ignoring the third at first. But then I came to realize the third was actually the best. And she of course LOVED that change in the Ghost, the other two didn't, and especially the main singer I could tell. I see now the point of all that happening was that there have been 3 potential She's in this game. The first I already mentioned. The second was I am What I am, who I almost fell for, but she didn't say sorry at one point, and that was it for her. They even posted a thread about it later, disappointed that the whole set up with her too, all her life's purpose wasted, but who was probably better than the first by a long shot, she seems pretty cool overall, but still didn't work to trap me. Ha. So yeah I believe that the third is you and that you're the real one. I keep getting these deja vu arcs sometimes, like when I started thinking yesterday about that Zero Escape game you played. I know you don't accept it all now, but I think you're starting to. you're like a little stinker that wants to have herself convinced lol
Ok, so now that I've gotten all that out of the way. To dreamland. I can't remember if I mentioned the point of the dream that I had, when I was in that classroom trying to get the message and why it's up to me to deliver it, but I think so far that it's because I created this world, and if people dont accept me like they have been rejecting me so far (like another round of freakin Jesus Christ all over again), then it's time to fucking annihilate them. I always remember this Dr. Who book I read as a kid, and one of the character's name was Annie Hilate. Annihilate. Stupid example, but humor me since I'm barely awake... Anyway the kicker for me is from having remembered one of the things I said to TPTB, who kept grilling me for a name, my true name, of who I was known as before. They do this also so they can hurl some more effective black magic my way. I allowed them to keep asking the same question over and over until I got angry, but the first thing I said to them was this:
"I'm balance bitches, I'm here to judge, and I'm starting with you"
Of course this goes against what I thought I was going to do originally because I also love everyone so much. But I'm also at a point after being mistreated my whole life and still now, that I want to say fuck 'em. They made their choice. They actually made their choice years ago when they decided to try and kill me in my sleep, or give me pills in korea to do it, or create circumstances in my life so that I try and kill myself. They made their choice already.
But now I look at your dream, and it seems there may still be some hope. Small sliver of hope as it may be. (Because you probably know what your real heart tells you, and I think you know it isn't about redemption.) Not sure how that's going to materialize, though, pardon the pun. Of course I wouldn't know what to do anyway, that's the main reason I need your help, to figure all this shit out. And then we can make the decision of what to do eventually once we work through all this stuff. I've been trying to figure out why there are two of us in the first place as well, because I know I feel pretty complete in myself, having both light and dark and masculine and feminine qualities. But I figure you must also feel the same about yourself, because I think we are really one, just split into two soul parts in the physical world. And anyway, you wouldn't believe how glad I was, this was before I knew about you, when I thought the she-bitch was her, to realize I've actually got someone else to help me. I always thought I was going to have to do this alone, and shit if I knew what to do. You're so young tho, and that's a bit of a problem, but I think we can work through that eventually.
I think that's all I wanted to mention. oh yeah, I mean all these dreams might have also been programmed into us from the start at an early age, and so how can we be sure they too can be trusted? I got so tired of listening to all the dreams that she-bitch would have. it's like that's all she ever went on and on about. ugh. But I figure we have to start somewhere working through these things and then make our own call.